Scarred - Lyricks

i’ve been scarred in my mind for real.
everytime i try to look away, i remember the killed.
everytime i look away, i start feeling the chills.
lying to myself, what i saw wasn’t real.

i don’t want to rap about this topic anymore.
many of you think i’m using this because i’m bored.
many of you think i’m using them just to appeal.
i’m just asking you, if i don’t speak for them, who will?

time is such a scary thing, i’ve become so calloused.
spent a night with them, i realize my home’s a palace.
spent a day with them, i realized i have it good.
even though i know this, i don’t live the way i should.

i was bitten by a bug, living in that area…
later on i found out i’m carrying malaria.
no i didn’t curse Him, but thanked Him for my role.
cuz now i got their suffering just tatted on my soul.

till the day i die, i will understand their pain.
depending on my God, like a farmer is with rain.
relying on my Lord, my one and only team…
the hardest thing to give up: is my one and only dream.

living in a world where evil is now good.
things i couldn’t do, i realize that i now could.
at times i find myself just screaming at His face,
if i’m not allowed, why tease me with this taste.

and every single time i just feel like letting go.
i remember all the people who believe me at my shows.
think about the power in the decisions i choose.
power to confuse or to introduce them You.

i’ve been scarred in my mind for real.
everytime i try to look away, i remember the killed.
everytime i look away, i start feeling the chills.
lying to myself, what i saw wasn’t real.

i don’t want to rap about this topic anymore.
many of you think i’m using this because i’m bored.
many of you think i’m using them just to appeal.
i’m just asking you, if i don’t speak for them, who will?

under stand i never asked for this position.
sword is getting heavy and it seems like no one listens.
cuts my own flesh but you see i give it more.
my soul is in a state of a moral civil war.

and as i keep on growing so does the army of hate.
who wait for every slip and reason to call me fake.
to the panel of judges: i admit i can’t handle you.
i just hope with every fall, i just become more tangible.

i’m another boy, another son, another man.
i failed yesterday and will fail today again.
i repeat this, to all of those you don’t get it.
if i’m not LYRICKS then why give me the credit.

i don’t want your props or your daps for my flows.
i just hope my raps will just act as sign posts.
i know i’m not as flashy or as attractive.
but at the end of the day, it’s what my tracks DID.

did i show you life or rap about death.
just to be in light did i sacrifice breath
for the riches of the world, did i compromise love.
for the beauty of her face, what did i give up

of course there are times i just wish that i was free.
just to live in today’s definition of free.
want to be rebellious, reppin up the fist.
life would be easy so believing you don’t exist.

i’ve been scarred in my mind for real.
everytime i try to look away, i remember You’re real.
everytime i look away, i start feeling the chills.
lying to myself, what i feel isn’t real.

i don’t want to rap about You anymore.
many of them think i’m using You because i’m bored.
many of them think i’m using You just to appeal.
i’m just asking if you, if i don’t remind them, who will?

I think this song is about fear because the singer is afraid of falling away from God, and a lot of times, he's tempted to just give up. However, he realizes that he has a purpose in life which is to inspire others about God with his music.